The Blue Gypsy

It's crazy for me to think back to being thirteen sometimes. Most thirteen year old girls are getting excited to begin their last year of middle school, where you have waited years to be the oldest, and coolest in school. Maybe thinking about all the boys they would like this year, or "go out with". But twenty years ago, all I could think about was the massive spinal surgery I had scheduled at the end of the summer. This August marks my 20th Anniversary (capitalized because we should celebrate) of my scoliosis surgery, and it's incredible to think it has been that long. When I was eleven years old I started wearing a back brace that was molded to my body and would only fit me. Yes, I was THAT girl in school with a back brace on. Luckily I was able to wear mine underneath my clothes but at the time, I had to buy everything two sizes larger because the brace was about an inch thick in some areas. So here I was, this poor little girl in junior high with this embarrassing brace buckled on to my tiny little frame and flattening my butt too since it went down past my behind. Some of the kids would sit behind me in class and find the holes in the plaster that would perfectly fit their pencil, leaving me with pencils sticking out of my shirt. My "friends" would sing the Ninja Turtle theme song and finish with, "Chloé in a half shell, turtle power!" Yes, this happened, but I didn't really mind. Some days I enjoyed the attention, other days I would go home crying and throw my stinky white plaster brace at the wall in my room and refuse to wear it the rest of the day. All in all, I didn't have a choice, it was what it was, my life. And I had to get rid of this huge curve in my back and surgery was not an option for me. The thought of having an IV put in me absolutely terrified me (if I only knew that was the easy part). I'll never forget the day my orthopedic doctor told me I had to have surgery and the brace wasn't working. I remember thinking I can't believe I wore this stupid thing for a year and a half, and how the heck am I going to stay still long enough for them to put an IV in my arm at the hospital?

similar brace replica

But I did it. I won't bore you with the sad hospital stories (I could barely breath and had a black eye), or the ones that would make you laugh (I threw up on the priest), because I could go on forever about these. The thing was, was that I did it. This terrified little chicken kid, who was afraid of everything, overcame one of the scariest things I could ever possibly imagine. Now, here I am pregnant. I'll never forget asking my surgeon if it would be hard to have a child when that time came in my life. He said it may be complicated, but I would be just fine. My OBGYN told Ryan and me that I most likely cannot have an epidural due to my entire spine being fused, but that she would do everything in her power to help me still have our baby naturally. If there happen to be complications (ugh) I have to go completely under anesthesia and be out during our daughters' entire birth... so that is not an option. So here I am, now months away from doing the second scariest thing I've ever done in my life.. have a baby. With no drugs. I've been doing my research and practicing all the best breathing and meditation techniques to help me when it comes down to it. I am working on finding the perfect Doula and learning about hypnobirthing, which is a childbirth technique whose basic premise is to remove fear. I know there aren't too many out there who have had the same intense back surgery that I have had (I still cannot bend, nor do a sit up, which I know will make birth that much more difficult). So, I ask any of you that know anyone who has gone through a similar situation to tell me, educate me. I absolutely love hearing all of your stories. They make me feel at ease knowing I'm not alone in this scoliosis-surgery-titanium-rods-natural-birth(YIKES)-situation. I just know when I look back on how strong I was at the age of thirteen, undergoing this intense surgery I never thought possible, that if that girl can do it, this thirty three year old woman can do ANYTHING, right?

Straw Hat: Nordstrom Rack Off the shoulder shirt: Forever 21 Sunnies: ASOS

Life is crazy sometimes. So, I'm going to be a mom, and when I repeat that sentence out loud I laugh, but then I let it process and think, how is this happening? I'm still a kid, right? I can't have my own kid! But then I throw up, and realize, it's happening, I'm having a kid. Time to wake up already. It's something I've wanted, something I've fantasized about for years and years. Picturing myself and a little girl, buddies, just like my mom and I were, holding hands, giggling, running in the sand, swimming, someone to love with every part of your being. From the day I found out I was pregnant, I knew it was a girl. Not only have I imagined myself my entire life having a daughter first, I also had asked a psychic. Yes, I am THAT person. I don't know why but I just can't get enough of those lovely little fortune tellers. This one happened to be unbelievable... predicting my due date, gender, birth plan, her future, etc, six months before I even had gotten pregnant! I know what you're thinking... that I'm insane. And the answer to that is yes. I am. I also have crystals, oils and Native American fertility sticks that I swear are life. So you can think what you want, but here I am, surprise, with a baby inside me. My little girl who I can only hope loves me the way I loved my mommy as a tiny toddler, and now as a grown up best friend. I hope to continue my blogging journey with you all, I know have been M.I.A due to being incredibly ill the past few months, but I'm back and ready for maternity action! I hope to get help and gain insight from all of you fellow moms out there, and also share some maternity styles with you throughout the next four months of this journey. Cheers to all the 2016 babies out there! I know there are quite a few...

Dress- Anthropologie

little love bug

Rose Quartz Crystal

Carnelian Crystals

The Holidays. Once upon a time, the two weeks we had off for Christmas and New Years were the most joyous two weeks of a child's life. Endless amounts of cookies, candies, cakes and presents piled up in our household. Every family in our South Bay neighborhood of Hermosa Beach, had some sort of beautiful, cozy Christmas party, or Hanukkah get together. I would often have some kind of gift exchange, cookie exchange, or child fantasy extravaganza to attend. Since I was little my parents emphasized how important it was to embrace the reason for the two week break (Jesus' birth), which I definitely had an appreciation for, but not as much as the million of Archie comics I was about to receive that would fill me with months of Betty & Veronica gossip (I couldn't wait!). But now, that I'm thirty......two, ugh...how did that happen....my holidays are crazier than I ever anticipated. I always said I would never be that person who would want to rush through, eager for January 2nd, but every year I feel our social and work calendar gets busier and busier, especially now that I've officially "settled down", whatever that means. The past two years we have traveled from our crisp 70 degree beach town to blustery Chicago, Illinois, which we absolutely love, but I never realize how freezing I'll be until I'm standing there in tights, literally dying. I'm SOOO from LA when I say to my husband two days before we leave, "I'll be fine in this coat from H&M, right?", and he looks at me like I'm an insane person....I bring it anyway because why do I need an ugly giant puffer jacket for three days of the year? Once in Chicago, I am in magical giant city fairy heaven. I love big cities, especially when there is snow. This year, there happened to be no snow? El Niño what? Wait, is that a California thing? It was actually around 50 degrees, which to this Cali girl was freezing, but at least I didn't have to put a hundred layers underneath my cute coat, and I was able to rock the "snow acceptable" tights that I brought along. We enjoyed dining at fabulous restaurants like Bavette's Bar & Beouf and Mercadito, both with a fun bar scene as well as delicious eats. We spent hours walking down Michigan Avenue and popping into little shops and malls along the way so I could visit Santa Claus. Just kidding, kind of...PS now you need to make an appointment online if you want to see legit Santa. And last but not least enjoyed some much needed family time with Ryans' mothers' extended family, and I finally got to see my sweet little nieces (Kylie, Joli and Presley) after 4 long months away. In all the hustle and bustle that is "Married Christmas", I'd say it's still as special to me now as it was when I was little, making new memories and traditions with my ever so adventurous, lovable, handsome and silly husband... maybe he'll surprise me with the newest Betty & Veronica?